As an introvert, I naturally do not like seeing or talking to people in public, crowds aren’t my thing and speaking to an audience is my nightmare. These things raises my blood pressure and anxiety. So, I find it challenging and kind of strange that God would be pushing me to become more vocal. I find it very odd, that the place that God knew, I would naturally run from…he has called me to.
Why, would God give me a reserved type personality if he has called me to do extroverted things? Doesn’t he know, that because of all of these years of practicing being invisible that I’m the least qualified?
As I was pointing out my flaws and comforts, God reminded me of 2 people in the bible that sounded very similar to me. The first one is, Moses. Moses was chosen by God to be the leader that would lead the Israelites out of captivity into the land of promise. Although, it was a big responsibility, what an honor it was to be chosen by God for that mission. However, Moses didn’t see it that way. Instead, he reminded God that he isn’t that great of a speaker and he worried that people wouldn’t listen to him. The second person was, Jeremiah. He was called to be a prophet to the nations at an early age. Jeremiah however, responded to God by telling him that, he was just a child and could not speak.
In both cases, God’s response to these men were, I know you have concerns but I’m going to use you anyway. If I have to get another person to be your mouthpiece, so that you can feel at ease, I will. If I have to touch your mouth and give you a vision as a sign that I will speak through you, I will. It may be uncomfortable, but I have called you.
We see that, if these two men would have stayed in their comfort that nations and generations would have remained in bondage. They may have felt unqualified for the job but God, the creator placed the capacity inside of them to lead. Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee… .”
I have struggled in this area because being invisible is a lot less complicated. Being invisible makes me less of a target. Being invisible means that I don’t have to worry about the state of others because I only have to worry about me but is that what God has chosen me for? Is being invisible and a hermit, the plan/purpose for my life? Does God get the glory when I live like a hermit? Will men see his great work in my life, if I’m invisible?
As children of God, I believe it’s important and becoming even more important that we remove the limits off of God. We step outside of comfort and we obey and accept the call that is over our life. Those flaws, weaknesses and insecurities that we keep holding up in God’s face aren’t valid reasons as to why we can’t go forth and complete our assignment.
In a dream recently, I shared it on FB but it was strange at first until God began to unpack it for me. In my dream, I don’t know if I was a slave or on a job but I remember, being in a traditional building. Everything was old, my “boss” was old. She was walking back and forth watching over us to make sure we did things the old way. Well, I came up with a new way of doing something and immediately got reprimanded. I was told to go outside and as a punishment, I had to fight someone. (This part, I left out of my fb post) The person I had to fight that was going to teach me my lesson, was bigger than me. This person is actually a person I know of in real life and is around my age group. We fought for hours and hours. I heard myself thinking, I’m throwing this last punch and I’m giving up. As soon as I was getting ready to throw my last punch, my opponent gave up. The people in the audience that was rooting for my demise, began to embrace and cling to me, even my opponent. As the older lady watched from the balcony, the balcony began to crumble.
One aspect of this dream that God gave me revelation for is that, I am a forerunner for my generation. I am fighting for breakthrough. I am fighting and contending spiritually on the behalf of people souls. The enemy wants me quiet. The enemy wants me to give up. The enemy wants negative and ungodly things coming out of my mouth. However, just like Moses and Jeremiah, God wants to use you and I to speak and contend so that the glory of God can be shown in such a way that it crumbles and tear down ungodly regimes.
This dream opened my eyes because for years, I just wanted to be normal. I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be embraced. However, a life surrendered to God will make you even more abnormal — and it’s suppose to be that way. We are not called to be normal, but we are called to birth resistance and change. We will not be accepted by the masses instead our walk in Christ may be lonely at times but God has called us to be set a part, holy an acceptable unto him. How can God use you, to bring a fresh flow and to release his glory if you aren’t surrendered to him? How can he use you, if he has called you to uproot and tear down old religious systems but you are religious yourself? How can he use you, if you are so bound and preoccupied by your own flaws and weaknesses? We hold back the flow of God when we haven’t submitted our life wholeheartedly to God. God will not pour new wine into an old wine skin. He will only pour into a yielded vessel.
We fight our own battles and at times, we want to give up but the bigger picture that Christ is showing us is that our life is not our own. Our life is directly connected to generations being saved. Our life is connected to movements and dispensations to come. God wants to birth something through you so that others can get to their promise land. Our acts of obedience in-spite the level of comfort is required.
God has already given us access, dominion, grace and favor for the place/people he has called us to. We are not called to operate in fear but faith. A prayer that I always pray is,
“God I am your servant. I pray that if it’s your will to use me than use me. Lord, let your word be upon my lips. Let me see what you see and hear what you hear. Speak through me so that through me you can receive the glory.”
My prayer for you is, that your mouthpiece/life will not become a hindrances but living waters. I pray that as you continue to live a life surrendered unto God that people will begin to see Christ in you. I pray that you will grow in grace and become/remain a carrier of his presence. So that, people will see his great works through your life and glorify him!
Arise remnant of God, he has given you the capacity to lead, pursue, overtake and recover all.