Dear Younger Me,
Never forget that God’s love is everlasting and perfect!
Isaiah 41:10 1 John 4:10 Psalm 118:6
Romans 5:8 John 15:13 Psalm 147:3
John 3:16 Romans 8:31 Psalm 103:8
Romans 8:35-39 Jeremiah 31:3 Isaiah 43:4-5
1 John 4:16-19 Romans 5:3-5 Psalm 62:8
Ephesians 2:8 Ephesians 3:17-19 Psalm 139:14
If you have been in church for any amount of time than I’m sure you know the commandment, “Thou shall not have any other God’s before me…” I have heard this commandment over and over and as a Christian, I always associated this scripture in reference to other religions and their gods. But the truth of the matter is, God is talking about any and everything that we put before him.
Exodus 20: 3-5 “You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God…”
Here’s a portion of my life story:
I often wondered, why, I always felt I needed a male friend in my life. And depending how much I liked that individual, I would justify my actions or lower my standard to please him. I didn’t know it at the time but I had made men my idol.
I found myself in a cycle with an individual. We would speak, we would be good, we would be bad, we would part ways, we would come back together… cycle repeats! This cycle repeated more times than I can number. At first, I felt degraded and devalued but because I wanted his love and affirmation so bad I overlooked many things.
Thank God, he pursues us!
Although, I was going through these things, I knew that God was pursuing me. At night, I found myself wrestling with him concerning what I wanted and what he was calling me to do. One day, I was on YouTube and I watched a video from Heather Lindsey. In this particular video, she was discussing relationships. As I was watching, God began to speak to my heart and he said, “Men have become your idol.” After hearing that, the words Heather Lindsey spoke in her video began to permeate in my mind but there was a part of me still in denial.
It was just a dream
I had a dream concerning this individual. In the dream God allowed me to see him and his brothers having a conversation about me. In the dream, he was acting a certain way with his brothers but when he was speaking too me, he was a different person. I knew when I had woken up that my dream was a prophetic dream but I didn’t want to believe it. I basically told God that his warning was not real. I formed excuses in my head to convince myself that God had not given me that dream. But the reality was, I was wrestling in my spirit with God.
As time went on, I knew it was time to let go. God was pulling at my heart and I couldn’t handle lowering myself any longer. I finally accepted the word Heather Lindsey released and I stopped wrestling with God and began to ask for direction and help.
God is in Kentucky!
I was in a desperate search to find myself. I left the state to have some away time with the Lord. I found myself in my hotel room letting out a cry from the depth of my soul. I was desperate for change. I didn’t know, prior to the YouTube video that all of these years, I had made men my idol. I didn’t know, I dethroned God and that I had allowed men to sit in his seat. I didn’t know, that I was actually trying to fill a void in my life. I had finally reached the end of my rope. I did everything I could to fill my void but nothing was working. I was searching and after searching for years, God was going to pursue me until his love captured me.
After leaving Kentucky, I felt empowered and bold. I didn’t know how to go about everything but I felt free. Shortly after this time, I decided to surrender my life to Christ. God spoke to me one day and said, “Out with the old and in with the new” and “let it go!” Those prophetic words is what I held on to when my flesh wanted to go back to that emotional and mental prison.
New Year Jitters
I was doing great. God was doing awesome things in my life. December came and I started to go through a spiritual attack. I started to have doubts that God had really spoken to me. I wanted to go back to the old because of fear. I knew God had promised me somethings but was I ready? How do I continue to live life not depending on someones affirmation? Now, that men are no longer my idol, where do I go? What do I do? So many thoughts were coming toward me. However, my belief that God is faithful and if God said it, then every word will come to past, is what kept me in hard times.
Now, what about you?
During my time of going through this process, I kept asking God to remove “him.” But in reality God wanted me to dethrone him and every other idol that I had placed before him. It wasn’t so much the guys but God was after me and my heart. God was showing me that the love I was searching for can only be found in him. That the void that I had, can only be filled by him.
Perhaps, you haven’t made men your idol. Perhaps, a celebrity, a family member, tv, etc., has become more important to you than God. What are you dethroning God for? What do you push God aside for and indirectly tell him, he can wait? I believe that God is after many of your hearts but you keep ignoring or rejecting him, just like I did.
When God is pursuing you there is nothing that will stop his pursuit for you. In the bible, the question is asked, “What can separate me from me the love of God (Romans 8:35-39)?” As the scriptures goes on the writer realizes — there’s NOTHING, that can separate us. Nothing, not even an idol that you put first because God’s love is so perfect. God is a gentleman that is knocking at the door of your heart and wants you to know he loves you (Revelation 3:20).
Our flesh is going to cry out for things to satisfy it and at times temptation will come. But even in that, God loves you so much that he has already provided a way of escape for you (1 Corinthians 10:13). When God is on the throne of your heart, it’s so many blessings attached to it. However, when you dethrone him, you limit yourself and God’s blessings over your life.
I’ll end with this, one day, I was talking to my mom and she said, ” When you realize how much God loves you than you will realize that what you’re receiving isn’t love.” I went in my room that night and cried out to God in prayer and surrendered every broken piece of me to him. I would encourage you to do the same. God knows where you are at, he knows your struggles but he’s waiting for you to surrender to him. Dethrone your idols and go back to your first love – Jesus!
Thank you Lord, for being a God that will pursue us and love us back to life again and again. Your love captures and captivates us. Your love sustains and brings comfort. You are an amazing God. Father, I surrender my life to you. The whole and the broken pieces of me. I even give you the hidden parts of me that I have tried to cover up because of shame. Today Lord, I am casting every care upon you. I have dethroned you God, and I pray that you will forgive me. I understand that you are a jealous God and that no other God shall come before you. I repent father, and I pray that you will teach, guide and direct me father. I surrender my life to you. I pray that every void and insecurity will be filled by your awesome love. For, I am not without hope, but I am whole in you. No, longer will I have to look to the left or right trying to find my way or try to seek temporary wholeness and fulfillment but Lord, I look to you. You are my strength. You are the lover of my soul. You lead me and guide me. You are a good father that will leave the ninety-nine to come and find me. So, here I am Lord. Here I, AM! I am broken before you. I ask that you will began to have your way in my life. Invade my temple. I trust you God and I thank you for giving me a fresh start. I love you back and I give you glory. In Jesus mighty name – AMEN!